Most obituaries, from a three-line notice to a full tribute, follow the same order. Knowing the order is most of the work of writing one, because it tells you what goes where and what you can leave out.
The usual order
- The announcement. Their full name, age, where they lived, the date they died and, if you wish, where and how. "Margaret Ann Wilson, 84, of Gary, Indiana, died peacefully on March 14, 2024, surrounded by her family."
- The life. Where and when they were born, their parents, school, work, marriage, faith, and the things they loved. This is the part that makes the obituary theirs.
- Survivors. The family who remain: spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings.
- Those who went before. Parents, a spouse, a child or siblings who died earlier.
- The service. The date, time and place of the visitation, funeral or celebration of life.
- Memorial gifts. A charity for donations or "in lieu of flowers", if there is one.
Some families add a closing line, a thank-you to a hospice or caregivers, or a line from a poem. None of those are required.
A short example
Margaret Ann Wilson, 84, of Gary, Indiana, died peacefully on March 14, 2024, surrounded by her family.
Margaret was born on March 4, 1940, the third of five children. She taught third grade for thirty-one years, and there are grown adults across the county who still call her Mrs. Wilson when they see her in the grocery store. She loved her garden, her church choir and a good card game, and she did not let anyone win on purpose.
She is survived by her husband of fifty-eight years, Robert; her children Susan Miller and David Wilson; six grandchildren; and her sister, Helen. She was preceded in death by her parents and her brother, Tom.
A funeral service will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, March 23, at St. Mark Lutheran Church, with a gathering to follow. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for gifts to the church choir fund.
The names and details are invented. For more, see obituary examples and simple obituary examples.
How long should it be?
- Newspaper notice: usually short, because papers charge by the line or the word. Cover the announcement, the survivors and the service. Our guide to what an obituary costs explains why.
- Online or in a funeral program: there is no cost per line, so you can write the full story. Two to five paragraphs is common.
Habits that keep it readable
- Use the past tense for the life and the future for the service. "She loved her garden" and "Services will be held".
- Spell every name twice. Check each one against another family member.
- Choose specific over general. "Taught third grade for thirty-one years" says more than "dedicated to children".
- Leave out what you would not read aloud. An obituary is public, and family details you would keep private can stay out.
- Check the dates and the address. A wrong service time is the error people act on.
The most common mistakes are in common obituary mistakes, and the step-by-step version is how to write an obituary.
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